What do family consultants bring to collaboration and mediation?
Mediation encourages a separating couple to sit down face to face and find a way forward for their families together, be it arrangements for children or financial matters. This can be tough. In any process that requires you to resolve sensitive or emotional issues face to face you are going to hit points of conflict.
Often people who are separating feel very raw and may need the opportunity to talk about how they are feeling. Handing the decisions over to a third party, such as a judge or arbitrator, may be tempting. Sitting down with your ex can be a daunting prospect or you may think that there is no way they are going to listen to your point of view. Communication may have broken down. This is however where the assistance of a family consultant can help, enabling you to take control of the decisions yourself. You are then far more likely to reach a long term working solution in a quicker and more cost effective way.
A family consultant doesn’t act as a relationship therapist, although is likely to have a therapeutic background. They are there to help you process and manage your separation in a constructive manner. They are neutral and offer emotional support to the process as a whole. They can help navigate roadblocks in the discussions and can help everyone in the room to better understand the dynamics and see things from a different perspectives.
Family Mediation is often a lot more effective overall when separating couples work with a family consultant to prepare for the mediation process. Any areas of concern can be addressed beforehand in a sensitive way, before the process starts, so that you are able to improve communication.
A family consultant can help you to equip yourself to talk about the separation so that you are in the best place to make decisions that may have a long reaching impact on your life and those of your children.
Using a family consultant can prove cost effective as your mediator (and lawyers if instructed) can then concentrate on the other aspects of your case knowing that you are fully supported emotionally. You will be able to focus and work efficiently with your mediator (and lawyer if instructed) without emotional dynamics clouding your judgement.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that having the assistance of a family consultant can cut down on the number of mediation sessions needed to reach an outcome.
Given the above, together with many other reasons, here at Family Law Partners we have a family consultant embedded full time in our team. We are one of the only family law teams in the country to have a fully embedded family consultant within our mediation team. Family consultant Kim Crewe, and our Director of Client Wellbeing, works alongside our mediators to support clients before entering into, and during, family mediation.
We are able to offer fixed fee packages for mediation which include support from our family consultant. We would be delighted to talk to you about family mediation and how the process works, and is enhanced, by including our family consultant in the process. If you would like to know more about this approach please contact us.
I have two grandchildren, one of whom I’ve never met. I only want to see them occasionally and have no intention of interfering with their upbringing which appears excellent but I have a difficult relationship with my son and wife so I believe they are being vindictive which is of course extremely hurtful. I send gifts to the children but they are never acknowledged. I’m at a loss and this is all so unfair. Please advise. I’d be happy to involve some type of meditation but fear the costs of such a service. With regards.
Thank you for your comment Vivienne. I am sorry to hear that the relationship with your son and his wife is so difficult and impacting on your relationship with your grandchildren. I would strongly recommend that you propose mediation to try to work out a way that you can play a part in your grandchildren?s life. You could also consider working with a family consultant or attending some sort of family therapy. If your son and his wife do not engage then you could issue an application at court for permission to apply for a child arrangements order. That said, in my experience it can be almost impossible to establish grandparent contact if the relationship between the grandparent and parents is very poor. For this reason I really encourage you to do everything you can to improve your relationship with your son and his wife and resolve this issue between you.