Communication is often the key when experiencing a family separation.
If you do not find ways to agree issues you may be left leaving it to a Judge. Why should someone else tell you what is best for you and your children?
The answer – try to talk to each other! Why not try FAMILY MEDIATION.
Family Mediation does not mean:-
- the mediator will be trying to get you back together;
- you are going to lose out financially.
Family mediation will mean:-
- You have an input into what will happen;
- The cost of successful mediation will be much less than going to court, financially and emotionally;
- The children might be able to have their say (depending on age);
- You can both retain your dignity.
Mediation won’t be pain free, but it is a very positive way to deal with a difficult situation. One positive spin-off is that it will also give you the opportunity to start using the communication skills that you will need to rely on in the future. When you have young children the need for rational and balanced discussions with your former partner does not stop after the initial agreements have been reached. In fact these skills will be needed for many years through to your children leaving home and beyond to family occasions and even grandchildren.
During the mediation meetings there may be tears, but there may also be laughter. There is bound to be emotion. You are encouraged to talk about your shared experiences, particularly of bringing up your children. It is often too easy at the end of a relationship to only remember the bad times. Most relationships will have had good times and these should not be forgotten.
Make sure that you use a Mediator that is fully qualified with the Family Mediators Association or Resolution. The assistance of counsellors, financial advisors and life coach may also help within the mediation. This will be support to you both. Separation may be a legal process, but the reasons for it are always emotional.
Go on; start to communicate now for the rest of your life. You and your children won’t regret it.
Family Dispute Resolution Week runs from 25 to 29 November this year and we will be involved in a number of events during that week to increase awareness of the less painful alternatives to dispute and Court.