Step-parents and Parental Responsibility - Family Law Partners

Step-parents and Parental Responsibility

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What is parental responsibility? Who has it? Who can acquire it?

I have previously looked at the role of step-parents and, more importantly, their legal status in this earlier blog. To recap, a step-parent doesn’t typically have any ‘custody’ rights to stepchildren and therefore their powers are limited in respect of their step children. I gave the following example of where the legal status of a step parent could be an issue…

You have recently married your spouse who has two children, Lily and Harry. Your spouse is at brownie camp with Lily for a few days leaving you to care for Harry at home. Harry is out playing football with his mates at the park. You get a visit from a police officer who tells you that Harry has been in a fight and has harmed another boy. He is also injured and has been taken to hospital in an ambulance. He needs an operation on his broken jaw and the police also want to question him further about his behaviour. You cannot get hold of Harry’s mother or his biological father. What do you do and more importantly what are you allowed to do? The answer lies in whether you have ‘Parental Responsibility’ or not.

In short, you cannot give consent for any medical treatment to be carried out on Harry, nor can you accompany him whilst being questioned by the police. This can only come from someone who has parental responsibility.

What is Parental Responsibility?

Parental responsibility is defined as ‘all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which, by law, a parent of a child has in relation to the child and their

Who has Parental Responsibility?

The child’s birth mother will automatically have parental responsibility. The child’s father will automatically have parental responsibility if he is married to the child’s mother or if the child was born after 1 December 2003 and he is named on the child’s birth certificate. As a step-parent no matter how involved you are in the lives of your partner’s children, or how much you contribute to their upbringing – financially or otherwise – you will not automatically gain parental responsibility. Remember, an unmarried partner is not legally a step-parent.

Can a step-parent acquire Parental Responsibility?

A step-parent can only acquire parental responsibility for a child in very specific circumstances including:

  • When the court makes a Child Arrangements Order that the child lives with the step-parent either on their own or with another person. However these types of ‘step parent’ orders are uncommon.
  • When the step-parent adopts a child which puts him/her in the same position as a birth parent.
  • Through the signing of a Parental Responsibility Agreement to which all other people with Parental Responsibility consent. This is a formal document which needs to be signed by all the parties and then registered at court.
  • When the court has made a Parental Responsibility Order following an application by the step-parent. On acquiring parental responsibility, a step-parent has the same duties and responsibilities as a natural parent. Note that in order to apply for a parental responsibility order the step-parent must still be married to the other parent. Once a step-parent is divorced from the parent of the child they can no longer apply for or be granted parental responsibility.

I am always surprised at just how little Step-Parent Parental Responsibility Agreements are used and can only assume that step-parents are not aware of them and just how important they may be.

If you would like more information on this subject download our free factsheet on parental responsibility.

77 responses on “Step-parents and Parental Responsibility

  1. The mother of my little boy has gone to a solicitor to apply for a parental responsibility order to give her husband parental responsibility alongside both of us. Will this effect my rights? will it go against me if I have to go to court to see my son (its looking its going that way) and is she able to move abroad without my consent? I am wanting to cover my back before I sign it as normally she has an ulterior motive.

    1. Whether parental responsibility should be granted to your son’s mother’s husband depends on whether it is in your son’s best interests. The following also should be considered: the level of commitment and attachment between him and your son and reasons as to why he wants parental responsibility. Whoever holds parental responsibility for a child has a say and needs to be consulted in any major decisions relating to the child’s upbringing. If you have parental responsibility for your son, your son’s mother would need your consent or the permission from the court to move him abroad. If you have concerns about your son’s mother’s new husband sharing parental responsibility for your son or concerns about your son being removed from the country without your consent you should seek independent legal advice. You can find a local lawyer to help on the Resolution website.

    1. Dear Sam, thank you for your queries. To clarify you cannot be a step parent unless you are married or in a civil partnership to one of the child?s biological parents. Unless you are married or in a civil partnership with one of the parents, unfortunately your ability to obtain PR is extremely limited. I hope this assists.

    2. My personal opinion is no external male should ever just shoehorn himself into another man’s children’s lives, unless of course he abandoned his family and or simply doesn’t want anything to do with his kids.

      My situation (for example) is my ex wife forced me to leave after she stole a large sum of money from our mortgage holiday savings and now wants the right to have another male to have parental rights. For me that is disrespectful and quite frankly disgusting. She’s torn my children from me and now trying to replace me.

  2. Me and my husband want him to have pr of my eldest son, his step son. My son’s dad doesn’t think our reason is good enough.
    I work full time and am studying also, with two kids, eldest is disabled, high funtctioning autism and spd. He attends lots of appiontments; salt, play therepy, ot, and a child phycologist as well as having counselling at the moment due to bullying (which husband paid for as o can’t afford it alone). I can always get these appiontmemts out of work or on lunch hours, due to working 9-4, doing assignments and attending class 6pm-9pm once a week, I do school run to two different schools. As husband is self employed he takes the time to take him. His dad although not working won’t as i won’t give him petrol money to do so.
    Most of the professionals are ok, but there are two that refuse to discuss anything regarding my son’s care with his step dad. Who is very involved, we’ve lived together for 5 years, married 2. He does my son’s sensory excersizes with him, he does homework when Im at classes, he attend a parents evenings and plays and sports days. They spend time alone doing “lad stuff” and he involved him on his work letting him help with woodwork so he felt more grown up, he taught him how to ride a bike, he takes him to martial arts classes, he picks him up from school if he’s off work, he reads to him and just does all the parenting stuff, yet has zero rights or say when it comes to his medical issues. They get on great.
    I can’t help feel my ex is being difficult. What other reasons do we need!?!
    Would a judge agree if this does end up in court? Which o feel it’s going to do.

    1. Thank you for your comment. For your information, when considering whether to make a Parental Responsibility order in favour of a step-parent the Family Court will consider:

      a. Your son?s welfare as its paramount consideration.
      b. The ?no order? principle (the court must be satisfied that making the order would be better for your son than making no order at all).

      I may also consider the welfare checklist.

      I would suggest that before issuing any application you may want to consider obtaining some advice from a Resolution family law solicitor. They will be able to explore your circumstances in more detail with you. You may also wish to consider whether there are any alternative solutions which would avoid the need for court proceedings e.g. would your son?s father be willing to provide his written consent to the medical professionals discussing your son?s treatment with your husband whilst not providing PR? Alternatively, would the medical professionals be able to provide you with a written report on your son?s treatment and discuss this with you be phone if needed? I hope this helps.

  3. My husband and I are going to court for a child arrangement order of his 2 children. They currently live with us, and, due to circumstances CAFCASS has said that they, and social services, will be agreeing to the child arrangement order in our favour. If we get the order, do I, as the step-parent, get PR automatically it would I need to apply for PR still? Thanks in advance.

    1. Dear Claire, thank you for your comment. Provided you and your husband are both named as ‘Applicants’ in the proceedings and the Order is that the children live with both of you, you will assume PR automatically.

  4. My partner and I aren’t married and don’t intend to be for a few years yet. I have a daughter who’s father died a few years ago. I am in the process of considering my will, as my daughter has a trust of which I am the trustee. Due to these circumstances, could my partner gain PR for my daughter before we marry? I’m very concerned that should I die before this, there could be a very complicated and distressing custody issue for my daughter arise and I’d really like to put something in place to ensure that this happens if anything should happen to me in this time. Many thanks.

    1. Dear Jane, Thank you for your comment. At present in order to acquire PR for a child as a step-parent, you must be married to or in a civil partnership with the child’s parent. If and when you do marry the process is straight forward as you could enter into a step-parent parental responsibility agreement. If you are seriously considering marriage in the near future then you and your partner may want to bring your plans forward in order to enter into an agreement now. When you make your Will you should appoint a Guardian for your daughter. Whilst this is not conclusive, it would help your partner to prove your wishes should a dispute arise in the future.

  5. Can my son’s step dad take him abroad without my permission? His mother won t be traveling but she consents to them both going. Do I have a leg to stand on or am I fighting a losing battle

    1. Dear Jon, thank you for your query. Your son’s stepfather would need the permission of each person with Parental Responsibility before he can take your son out of the country for a holiday. You may find this blog helpful, as well as this factsheet . If we can assist any further please get in touch.

  6. i have just got a step parent parental responsibility order for my wifes son but before we got this my wifes mum managed to get a child arragement order for my wifes son would this parental responsibilty order change or void the child arrangment order?

    1. Dear Nathan, thank you for your comment. We cannot comment on individual cases in this forum I’m afraid. It will depend on the terms of each of the orders that have been made. You should seek advice from a specialist family lawyer who is a member of Resolution.

  7. Hello,

    My husband to be in 3 months would like to adopt my son. He has been in his life since he was 1 (he is now 7), he?s brought him up & weve recently had a son.
    My eldests sons biological father doesn?t see him. I have a restraining order against him 6 years ago due to common assault. Since the day of assault he?s not tried to see my eldest son, I gave up on CSA as he never paid.
    My son now wants to change his name to be the same once we are married. What are the chances of this along with my partner gaining PR and eventually adoption?

    1. Thanks for your comment Catherine. In order to change your child’s name or for your partner to obtain PR you would need to enter into an agreement with your son’s father or make an application to court. The success of any such application would depend on the particular circumstances of the case, so it is not possible for me to comment on your chance of success here. You also mention step-parent adoption, which is relatively unusual and must be given a great deal of thought. It would end the legal relationship between your child and his paternal family and this can have implications on his sense of identity as he grows up. If you and your partner did decide to apply for step-parent adoption you would undergo a detailed assessment by the local authority and as part of this your son’s connection with his father and paternal family, now and in the future, would need to be considered. If your application was successful and an adoption order was made, your child’s birth certificate would be replaced by an adoption certificate. This is a complex area of law and I strongly encourage to seek advice from a specialist family lawyer. If I can assist please do contact me.

  8. My son’s biological father has had no contact with him since he was 6 months old,( he will be 12 next month), I have recently changed his surname through deed poll and would like my husband (we have been married for nearly 9 years) to have full parental responsibility. If we applied for parental responsibility would it be granted? We do not know the whereabouts of his biological father and my son requested my husbands surname when we changed his surname. I am not really sure where to go from here, any advice would be welcome, Thanks Alex

    1. The answer to your question is dependent on whether the biological father has parental responsibility for your son, you can find out more information about parental responsibility from our factsheet. To change the name of your son consent from everyone with parental responsibility is needed, or an order from the court. Your husband can be granted parental responsibility by agreement with the consent of everyone with parental responsibility. If consent is not provided and an application to court is made whether the application would be successful will depend on whether it’s in your son’s best interests, the level of commitment of your husband, the degree of attachment between you son and your husband and the reason/motivation for your husband wanting parental responsibility. You should take legal advice based on your specific circumstances, you can contact us and arrange an initial consultation or if we are not local to you and you want a local lawyer you can find one online.

    2. Hello
      I’m a window mum and i met someone who’s illegal to sty in the Uk he’s very close to my child, can he sty in as step dad

    3. Dear Sofia, thank you for your question. I’m afraid we are unable to assist you and would suggest that your partner speaks to an immigration lawyer. You will be able to find details of immigration lawyers in your area via the Law Society here.

  9. Good morning
    Please can you explain how we go about getting parental responsibility (we are aunt and uncle) if Dad has died, mum is abroad and cannot be located and wont make contact? Do we just apply for a Child Arrangements Order or do we have to try and trace Mum
    thank you

    1. Thank you for your comment. There are a number options available to you if you are caring for your brother’s child including a child arrangements order, special guardianship order or adoption. I strongly recommend that you take advice from a specialist family solicitor in order to establish which is the best option for your family. Whatever option you choose, you will be expected to do your best to trace mum as she has parental responsibility and a right to have a say in relation to her child’s future. If she genuinely cannot not be found, then the court can proceed without her input in the proceedings.

  10. My husband and and I are concerned over what parental responsibility I have for my 9 year old step daughter. I have been in her life since she was 5 and have taken on the role more in line with mum that step mum for the last couple of years as her own mum had a breakdown/alcohol dependency and unfortunately more recently has died. Do we need to do anything here? Thanks.

    1. Dear Laura, thank you for your query. As you will have read step parents do not gain automatic parental responsibility. That is still the case in the unfortunate event of a birth parent dying. You can acquire parental responsibility through the signing of a Parental Responsibility Agreement to which all other people with Parental Responsibility consent. In your case I would assume that your husband is now the only person who has PR. The PR Agreement is a formal document which needs to be signed by all the parties and then registered at court.

  11. My ex husband is from Philippines and we have a beautiful daughter. Annuled marriage since 2010. He never get involved with my daughter’s up bringing since then. I get married again and settled now( applying citizenship) here in the uk. 1) Is the parental responsibility agreement Possible for My husband as a step parent. 2) is it possible to do it even with out the sign or consent of my daughters father as we didn’t know his where about? 3) how long will it takes for the agreement to be registered?

    1. In order to enter into a step parental responsibility agreement there needs to be consent from everyone who has parental responsibility. It sounds as though the father of your daughter has parental responsibility, if you were married to each other. If his consent is not forthcoming then your current husband can apply to court for a parental responsibility order. You and your current husband should each seek legal advice before an application is made to ensure it is the right option and so you are both clear of the process. You can contact Family Law Partners to arrange an initial consultation in Sussex or Hampshire or search online to find a lawyer local to you on the Resolution website.

  12. My stepdaughter has said she wants me to adopt her and she wants to live with me and her dad. She also told her child services case worker this (who is working with mam and her) but mam is having none of it.
    My husband is reluctant to go to court for custody as we have done this twice and not been successful. He also believes I should adopt her but I know her mother will never agree to this so I was considering Step Parent Responsibility Orders.
    Will they take my stepdaughters wishes into account (she is 10)? And how common is it that this is awarded?

    1. There is no such thing in law as a Step Parent Responsibility Order, perhaps you mean a Parental Responsibility Order? I think that first of all it?s important for you to be clear about what you want to achieve out of having Parental Responsibility for your step daughter. Having Parental Responsibility for her would not limit or extinguish her mother?s Parental Responsibility for her. It would effectively mean that you and her parents would exercise Parental Responsibility for her jointly. In practice it would mean that you would have an equal say in certain important decision regarding her upbringing. It would not include day to day decision which should be taken by the parent with day to day care without interference from the other parent. It would also place an obligation on you to provide for your step daughter e.g. with food, shelter and safety. You may wish to consider attending mediation. I suggest that you contact a Resolution lawyer who can assist you.

  13. My husband and me are applying to the court for step parent PR (for my step daughter) we will be using a lawyer as the biological mother has refused to sign the paperwork. (She?s not seen her in over 6 years)
    If we are seeking a lawyer will the biological mother also need a lawyer for court or can she represent herself? She is claiming we will be paying the cost of her lawyer as we will be taking her to court?
    Also would it be possible for us to represent ourselves rather that going through a lawyer? (Although a lawyer seems a safer option)

    1. Dear Georgina, thank you for your comment. Either and/or all parties to court proceedings are entitled to represent themselves. There is no legal requirement to instruct a lawyer to represent you. It would be unusual for a court to make an order that you pay the costs of the other party in Children Act proceedings unless there are very compelling reasons to do so.

  14. My ex partner and his wife are applying for her to have PR of my children, there is a contact order in place where my children have contact on certain days with their father. I don?t agree to giving her PR. Do you think the courts would issue this in her favour?

    1. Dear Maria, thank you for your query. I’m afraid I can’t advise you without knowing the specific facts of your case. The success of the application will depend on a number of factors but the overwhelming factor that the court must consider is whether it is in your children’s best interests for their step-mother to be granted PR. I recommend that you seek advice from a Resolution lawyer near to you so that they can provide more specific advice and assist you, if necessary, through the court proceedings.

  15. My question is if my partner and I obtain PR for him and I should die for whatever reason. Would my partner be able to continue with the children’s upbringing or would PR go to their biological father? Would he still get access at all after I’m gone?

    1. Dear Gemma, thank you for your comment. We are unable to advise on specific cases in this forum. I would recommend that you seek advice from a Resolution lawyer as to the options available to you and your new partner.

  16. I have raised my 12 year old stepson since he was 18 months old, and since he was 4 his biological father hasn?t seen him or had any contact at all. His mum and I have divorced over a year ago but I?ve still been having access to my stepson on equal terms to our 2 other children. All 3 children now live with me full time (4 months) with a view to it eventually becoming as close to 50/50 as possible. My ex wife has agreed to me having PR but as we?re now divorced how would we go about this??

    1. Thank you for your comment James. It is not possible to enter into a step parent responsibility agreement in relation to your step son as you are no longer married to his mother. It is very important that you obtain parental responsibility for your step son and formalise his residence with you. You should consider applying for a child arrangements order confirming that your step son lives with you. This would automatically confer parental responsibility on you for the duration for the order. Ideally, the order would be agreed by your step son’s mother and the application to court would be made with her consent. We are able to help you with your application so please contact us on 0330 055 2234 or [email protected]

  17. Hi, I have a letter from the police stating that my son is not safe from his natural father and his whereabouts should not be disclosed. My husband, who is a step-father to my son, wants to obtain parental responsibility. What should we do? How can we apply to court if the child is at risk from his natural parent? The respondent father will become a party to the proceedings and it is not safe if he gets information about us and our son.

    1. Thank you for your comment Yulia. Your husband could gain parental responsibility for your son by way of a step-parent parental responsibility agreement or by making an application at court. It is a requirement that your son’s father is served with the application if he has parental responsibility for your son. If your address needs to remain confidential then this can be omitted from the paperwork if you complete a form C8. I hope this helps.

  18. I’ve read that you don’t have to be married for step parent adoption of a child you just need to live with your partner and the child for at least 6 months. Is this true for now?

    My daughter’s biological father has had no contact for coming up to 3 years I recently tried to get in touch with him for child maintenance as I have never received a penny off of him. My daughter is coming up to 3 years old and knows my partner as her daddy. How does child maintenance affect the adoption does it play a part? Does it become in my favour as I’ve mentioned the adoption also to him and had no response? How likely is step parent adoption?

    1. Thank you for your comment. It is not necessary for your partner to ne married to you in order to adopt your child. It is important to remember that adoption changes your child?s legal parenthood permanently. Your child would no longer have any legal relationship with their biological father (and yes, this means that he would no longer be liable to pay child maintenance). If the adoption was successful, your child?s birth certificate would be replaced by the adoption certificate which can create questions and confusion over identity as the child grows up. I recommend that you take legal advice to explore the options that are available to formalise the relationship between your partner and child, if you contact the office we would be happy to book you in for an initial meeting.

  19. Hello,

    My partner’s ex keeps on pretending that the kids (Her and my partners kids) are not allowed to be left in my sole care for a couple of hours after school or for an overnight from time to time, should my partner have to be away for work. Is this true? (I have been in the kids’ life for 7 years and we take care of them 60% of the time, as per childcare agreement)

    1. Thank you for your comment Sophie. Generally, a child should be cared for by a parent when possible. So if your partner is not available to look after the children but their mother is, it may be reasonable to expect they would be returned to her care. That is not to say you can?t be left alone with the children now and again, but I would not expect you to be caring for the children on a regular basis or overnight because your partner is not available.

  20. Hi I have a 7 year old daughter with ex husband. We have a current child arrangement order which was obtained Sept19. Ex H moved to USA sept 19 also to marry American wife. His order grants 4 visits a year. He didn?t see her at Christmas due to immigration, missed April due to COVID and is now not coming in July due to possible immigration issues returning to USA and needing extended leave from work for quarantine. My partner would like PR to ensure there is another appropriate adult in the country if anything happened to me or I was uncontactable for any reason. We tried to obtain it within the order but was refused and advised it needed to be a separate application. Would we have enough grounds to apply even though not married with paternal parent out in USA and not seeing her for such extended periods of time? Any advice would be greatly taken as we?re 12k down through court proceedings already ?

    1. Thank you for your comment, Terri. In your circumstances, it seems sensible that a second adult present in the UK has parental responsibility for your daughter. The difficulty you have is that you are not married, so your partner would not be considered a step-parent and therefore eligible for step-parent parental responsibility.

  21. My eldest son (10) hasn’t seen his biological dad since he was 16 months, the man who he considers dad has been there since before then and is also the biological dad to his brother. We however have split up, is there anyway he can still get parental responsibility for my son?

    1. If you are married to your ex partner you may be able to enter into a stepparent parental responsibility agreement. If your sons father has parental responsibility for your son he would need to be party to the agreement.

      Alternatively, if a child arrangements order was put in place, perhaps by consent, your ex partner could be granted parental responsibility for the duration of the order. Your son?s father would need to be a party to this, whether or not he shares parental responsibility for your son.

  22. I’m currently married but separated from my step daughters father. She doesn’t have contact with her birth mother and hasn’t done for 7 years. My husband has a residency order for her which he got before we got married but he lived with me. Do I have any leg to stand on in getting pr for her or even joint custody? We do have a daughter together as well who sees her father every other weekend from Friday to Monday morning. Please help. As he is stopping me from seeing my step daughter. Who is now 11 and has always known me as mummy.

    1. Dear Jodie, thank you for your comment. It sounds like a very upsetting and difficult time for you. We are unable to provide advice on specific cases within this forum but we would recommend that you seek advice from a Resolution lawyer as soon as possible so that you can discuss the options available to you. If we can assist on a formal basis please do get in touch.

  23. My daughter is married and her ex-partner has just contacted her (after 4 years complete self-imposed absence from their children’s lives) to state that he would be happy to sign for her husband to have Parental Responsibility. I know that this would require a Step-Parental Responsibility Agreement form, but she needs reassurance that this won’t absolve (or reduce) her partner’s financial responsibility – ie her ex’s maintenance payments wouldn’t be affected. Can you help?

    1. Thank you for your comment Caroline. If your husband were granted parental responsibility this does not remove or undermine the children’s father’s parental responsibility or have any impact on legal parenthood. All three of you will share parental responsibility for the children. There will be no effect on the children’s father’s responsibility to pay maintenance for the children.

  24. Hi, my son is 21 and was raised by myself, his biological mother and my husband, his step father. My sons birth certificate has a blank field against “father” and my son would like to add my husband in this field. We have had no contact with my sons biological father since my son was approx 5 years old when supervised visits are permitted. The biological father has had no contact since and my son excised a wish not to see him any more. We have had no further legal intervention. Now my son is 21 can be add my husband to his birth certificate without having to involve his biological father please?

    1. Thank you for your comment Sarah. Birth certificates reflect legal parenthood and in this case your son’s legal father is his biological father, not your husband. It is not possible to alter legal parenthood once a person is over the age of 18 and no longer considered to be a minor.

  25. Hi. I am married to the mother of my now step children and want to apply for PR. Sounds like we need to get the agreement of the biological father who sees them regularly. It?s all pretty civil but I wondered what the ramifications were? What would change for the biological father, if anything? Financial contributions? Is there any reason why he should say no? Thanks

    1. Dear Mike, thank you for your comment. If you were granted parental responsibility this does not remove or undermine the children?s father?s parental responsibility or have any impact on legal parenthood. All three of you will share parental responsibility for the children. There will be no effect on the children?s father?s responsibility to pay maintenance for the children.

  26. Hi, I have 2 children from a previous relationship. My wife would like to apply for PR of them both and we would like to apply for a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the court. The children’s birth mother passed away in 2019, on the PRA there is a requirement for the mother’s signature. Do we simply mark her as deceased and apply or is there another process in this circumstance?

    1. Dear Graham, thank you for your comment. I would suggest that you mark your children’s mother as deceased on the PR Agreement. You may need to provide proof of her death when the PR Agreement is witnessed by your local family court.

  27. Hello,
    I have lived with my ex to be wife for past 7 years (3years of marriage) she have son from previous relationship. I do not live with them for past year ( I do provide some money for him and he spends time with me 4 times a week). I understand I have no rights as a step-parent but what are my obligations in regard to the child?

    Many thanks

    1. Dear Jerry, thank you for getting in touch. If your stepson has been treated as part of your family (which appears to be the case), then a court could order you to make financial provision for him if you divorced.

      The court’s decision would be based on a number of factors including the child’s financial needs and whether or not there was any other financial provision in place for him, such as maintenance being provided by his biological father. Your wife would need to make an application to the court for such provision from you if you are unable to reach an agreement together.

      The CMS (Child Maintenance Service) do not have jurisdiction to deal with maintenance for step children. We would strongly recommend that you and your wife engage with Mediation to deal with financial issues.

  28. Hello there. My partner and I are getting married. I have 5 children, 2 with him, and he wants to gain parental responsibility for my other 3. He has been in their life for 7 years, and my eldest is 12. They all call him Daddy, and don’t know anyone else as Dad. The other fathers are not on the birth certificates except 1 and none of the other biological fathers have seen the children 2 of them since birth, and 1 in the last 8/9 years. For no other reason, than they couldn’t be bothered and didn’t care. How easy would it be for my husband to be to acquire PR once we are married. And how easy would it be for him to adopt the other 3? We are looking to change the other 3’s surnames as they currently have mine, and the youngest two have my partners.

    Any help would be massively appreciated.

    Thank you


    1. Thank you for your comment. Once married your husband can be granted step parental responsibility for the children, he would need permission from everyone else with parental responsibility to obtain this. Step parental responsibility, if everyone with parental responsibility agrees, can simply be obtained using the following form: Details on how to complete the form and how to register the agreement are set out on the form. If step parental responsibility cannot be granted by agreement your husband maybe able to apply to court to obtain it depending on the circumstances of the situation You would need permission of everyone with parental responsibility to change the children’s surnames. If permission is not granted you would need to apply to court for a Specific Issue Order to change the surnames Adoption is not a particularly straightforward process, you can find details of the process on the government website Specific advice is beyond the scope of a blog post comment as we would need to know a lot more detail about your circumstances, if you want to arrange an initial consultation with one of our specialists please call 01273 646900.

  29. My husband, who I separated from 2 years ago but not yet divorced, wants to obtain PR for my daughter. Will that be allowed as we are no longer together but still technically married? He has lived with her since she was 5 months old if that changes anything?

    1. Dear Vikki, thank you for getting in touch. I assume that your husband is not your daughter’s biological father and as such is not named on her birth certificate. Your husband will need to make an application to the court for a Parental Responsibility Order if you do not agree he should have PR. He does not have any automatic right to parental responsibility of your daughter whether you are together or not but he will be unable to apply for or be granted PR once you are divorced. The court will decide whether it is in your daughter’s best interests for your husband to have parental responsibility following your separation.

  30. My ex partner has died and he had custody of our son, I had contact every other weekend and half of holidays, I live with my sons two half sisters, his dads wife of 25 weeks will not allow me to see my son as I have told her I want him to return and live with me and his sisters, ive applied to the court for my son to be returned, social services have no worries with me as my daughters are 2 and 18, my son is 8 and had lived with his dad since he was 3 years old. Has his step mum git any rights to keep him from me, he hasn’t seen me since his dad died 2 weeks ago

    1. Dear Sarah, thank you for getting in touch. I am sure this must be a very worrying time for you. We are unable to provide advice on individual cases but we can say that you have done the right thing in making an application to the court and I hope that the court are dealing with this urgently for you.

  31. We would like to apply for my husband to have step parent pr. My daughters biological father is a heroin user and has regular fortnight contract at his parents under thier supervision. My concern is as he has pr, if something happens to me she will automatically go to her bio dad. My husband has raised her and the only one out of the dads to of financially supported her. She has a half brother that lives with us. We have a court order that she resides full time with us and visits dad regularly. He’s not in a good place to be the only one with pr if im not around. Should we apply for step parent pr. If bio dad doesn’t consent is there any thing else we could do. To keep her with her brother and my husband should I not be around

    1. Step parental responsibility can be obtained by agreement if everyone with parental responsibility consents. If consent from everyone with parental responsibility is not forthcoming then an application to court for a parental responsibility order can be made in certain circumstances. The form that will need to be completed together with guidance can be found on the government website as can details about apply to court for a parental responsibility order: If an application is to be made to court it is recommended that legal advice is sought before making the application. In any event you should contact a specialist private client lawyer to update/make a Will and seek advice about appointing your husband as a guardian for your daughter in the event of your death.

  32. My stepson lives with his mother during the week and with my husband and I every weekend. Apart from the normal things like washing and ironing his clothes, cooking for him, picking up and dropping off, I am the one who helps with his homework and reading whilst his natural mother doesn’t do any of this. I have attended his last three parents evenings but now his mother has told the school I am not to be allowed to do this as I’m not his parent. I want to apply for parental responsibility but I know she will oppose this. What can I do?

    1. Dear Julia, thank you for getting in touch. If your stepson’s mother will not agree to enter into a Parental Responsibility Agreement with you, you will need to make an application to the court. You should seek advice from a family law specialist who is a member of Resolution before making the application.

  33. Hello, I am a father to a young son. My sons step mum has asked me for consent for her to gain parental responsibility. If I agree, will there be any detrimental effect to me as his father? Will she be able to force me out of his life somehow if I grant her this? Thank you

    1. Thank you for your query. While we are unable to comment on specific circumstances in this forum, generally speaking entering into an agreement that allows a step-parent to acquire parental responsibility should not diminish your own. You should seek advice from a family law specialist who is a member of Resolution before entering into any agreement so as to fully understand its terms and implications.

  34. I’m no longer with baby’s dad and I have a new partner how would he be able to adopt and get parental responsibility

    1. Thank you for your comment Chloe. There are a number of factors that will need to be considered and unfortunately, we are unable to provide legal advice on this forum. If you would like to discuss your circumstances in more detail, please contact us to arrange an initial appointment.

  35. Hi,

    I just recently had contact with my son after years of being in court and several allegations by the mother to prevent me from spending time with my son.

    I was granted supervised contact and now she has decided to submit a step dad application for her husband. I have all intentions to refuse it, what chances do I have?

    Also can I change his surname now that I have PR as she put her name as his surname why also putting her husband as the father on my son’s birth certificate.

  36. Hello. My wife wants to use a sperm donor and IVF to have children after we unsuccessfully tried for years to have children. I do not consent to IVF but since i cannot stop her if she has babies that way i do not want to be held responsible for another mans children. She has a history of abusive behaviour and Im concerned she can simply file for divorce anytime after giving birth and then try to get me on the line for child maintenance payments even though they would not be my children. I know step parents are not automatically liable for child maintenance but can be if the child is viewed as ‘a child of the family’. In theory after IVF she could become pregnant with twins or even quadruplets and it seems ludicrous that i could potentially be expected to pay child maintenance for multiple children that dont even belong to me. Please advise

  37. My daughter has no contact with her biological father, we dont know where he lives or how to contact him. My husband, her step father, and i, would like him to have parental responsibility. Can this be applied for without her fathers permission? If so how?

    1. Thank you for your comment, Ann. Your husband could acquire parental responsibility through the signing of a Parental Responsibility Agreement to which all other people with who hold parental responsibility consent. The answer to your question is therefore dependent on whether her biological father shares parental responsibility for her with you. I would suggest that you consider obtaining some advice from a Resolution family law solicitor as they will be able to explore your circumstances in more detail with you.

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