Who They See
This can be one of the most contentious issues.
After separation it is not unusual to find it difficult when your ex-partner finds a new partner particularly if the relationship was the trigger for your relationship to end. It can be hard to put aside the hurt.
For the parent who is not living with their child it is hard to accept that a new partner may see more of their child than they do.
For the children it can help if their parents can agree on when a new partner can be introduced. Until the relationship has lasted for at least a few months and is going to be long term the children don’t need to meet them. This is putting the children’s feelings first.
Introductions should be gradual and it made clear that the new partner is not going to replace their parent.
Unless there is something worrying about the new partner, e.g. drug abuse, then the introduction of new partners cannot be stopped. But again it is thinking about the feelings of the children and not making the introduction too quickly or too intensely.
Once the new partner is living with the other parent then there may be occasions when they will be involved in some aspects of child care.
When you start living with a new partner, especially if their children live with you, and your children do not live with you full time, the children really appreciate you spending time with them without your new partner. This makes your children feel special.
Grandparents can be important to children and they will want to continue seeing their grandchildren particularly when they were involved with child care.
Talking through the arrangements in mediation will give you as parents and the children time to adjust to the change in your family shape and the introduction of new partners.