- What We Do
- Your Options
- Meet the team
- Join Us
Following Lisa Burton-Durham’s excellent blog post on ‘Child Custody’, I was keen to write something in response, from my experience as a therapist working in schools and at the University of Sussex with young people whose parents have been through separation and divorce.
When I met up with one of my recent clients James to talk about his plans to get married, it was hard to believe he was the same person I saw at the University counselling service five years previously. James at 19yrs was depressed and directionless, he was having difficulty in forming relationships. His parents separated when he was five, his dad left the family home to live with another woman. He described how his mum’s world ended at that moment; she was very anxious and hated him going to stay at his dad’s, James felt he was expected to look after her and his younger sister. James felt very loyal to his mum and didn’t want to upset her further so he pretended he didn’t like it at his dad’s house and would hide in the house on the days he was supposed to visit.
As adults we know that for children (unless there any extreme circumstances) it is really important for them to have contact with both parents. But managing the transition between families is not always easy.
There are a number of ways to enable your children to move between families with ease:
My key piece of advice is not to forget that most children are eager to see the other parent. This alone means that it’s in the child’s interests (and yours as a parent) to limit the emotional impact and keep things as stress-free as possible.
If you would like to talk through any issues please contact:
Family Consultant and Counsellor
The Crescent Practice
All names have been changed.