At the time of separation, when emotions often run high, the individuals involved may be tempted to think “alright, if that is how they are going to be I will take him/her to court, that will show her/him”.
However, it is possible for couples to make their way through the breakdown of a relationship without those sorts of feelings taking over. In this post I want to provide you with my top 10 reasons why mediation can deliver better results than the Court process.
- Children – Mediation can help you consider and agree immediate decisions, such as how and when to tell the children. Moving forward, mediation can assist with interim arrangements as well as longer term arrangments and plans.
- Costs – Successful mediation is much cheaper than court proceedings. One mediator is paid during the mediation and you decide how the fee is paid, for example whether shared equally or you both pay half.
- Choice – All of the arrangements for the mediation (such as date and time) are made to suit you. This can include meeting in the evening to avoid taking time off from work.
The choice of mediator is also yours. You should take the opportunity to speak to different mediators as it’s vital that you feel comfortable with that person.
- View of the child/children – If the children are old enough they can be seen within mediation if the mediator is specially trained to meet children. This can demonstrate to the children that their parents can work together, which reassures them.
- Speed – You decide how quickly or how slowly you sort everything out. During the process you may find that there are times when you want to deal with action points quickly, and at other times you may want to allow more time, for example coming back for review of the arrangements for children to make sure that they work for the children.
- Communication – Mediation helps to start or improve communication between you, which is often so important for the future – particularly if you have children. With young children in particular, maintaining effective communication after the relationship is vital and mediation can help achieve this.
- Therapeutic – Therapists can be included within the mediation – or referrals made to appropriate therapists to work with both of you outside the mediation – to improve communication further if required.
- All issues – You decide the issues that you want to discuss and the order of priority. The order can be changed at anytime should there be any changes, or if new priorities emerge which need to be addressed before others.
- Environment – The mediator will provide a safe place for everyone attending to allow them to feel comfortable to speak openly. The venue will be convenient to those attending whereas there is no choice if in court.
- Focused & balanced – The mediator will assist you to focus on the issues that you both want to discuss and also to make sure that you both have an opportunity to speak and the other listen.
At Family Law Partners we are not only qualified mediators, but we are passionate about the benefits of the mediation process. We have supported a large number of clients, all dealing with different issues and personal circumstances, through mediations where they have reached a conclusion that suits them, and not one determined by the court process.
If you would like to find out more about our approach to divorce, or would like to know more about family mediation visit the following areas of our website:
Divorce and Separation