Same-sex parenting and the law
There are many different family structures and ways of having a child together when you are in a same-sex relationship.
A child can only have up to two legal parents (except in the event of IVF-based techniques designed to avoid serious mitochondrial diseases where there are three legal parents). However, just because someone is legally a parent it doesn’t mean they have parental responsibility for the child in the eyes of the law. Biology doesn’t always determine who the legal parent is and even if someone is not legally or biologically a parent, they may be regarded as a psychological parent.
Same-sex couples need to be aware of who are the legal, biological and psychological parents of their children and who has parental responsibility. In this blog I set out to answer some of the questions I commonly hear from same-sex parents about parental responsibility.
Parental responsibility is defined as ‘all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property’.
If you have parental responsibility you have the right to be consulted in key decisions about a child’s upbringing such as medical treatment, education and trips abroad.
Even if you are the biological parent and/or the legal parent you may not necessarily have parental responsibility.
Birth mother
The woman who carries and gives birth to the child (even if the child is not biologically hers) is the child’s legal parent and has parental responsibility for the child unless parental status is removed by either a Parental Order following Surrogacy or Adoption.
The other legal parent
Who the other legal parent is depends on the circumstances around conception, marital/civil partnership status and subsequent steps that may have been taken after the birth of the child to formalise the legal status. But generally speaking the position is as follows:
(Please note, for a child conceived before 06.04.09 different law applies which is beyond the scope of this blog post)
The biological father will be the other legal parent and will have parental responsibility if named on the child’s birth certificate.
If the birth mother is in civil partnership or married her civil partner or spouse is the other legal parent and will have parental responsibility.
If the birth mother is not in civil partnership or married to her partner, the birth mother’s partner is not recognised as the other legal parent (the biological father will be the other legal parent).
The birth mother and the birth mother’s partner (if the relevant forms are signed at the clinic) will be the legal parents. If they are married or in a civil partnership the birth mother’s partner will have parental responsibility, if not the birth mother’s partner can acquire parental responsibility if named on the birth certificate.
The legal status of a parent as set out above can be changed by one of the following after the birth of the child:
Adoption
This is a formal legal process. An Adoption Order changes and defines who a child’s legal parents are and grants parental responsibility.
The process is complex but you may find this online overview helpful – https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/overview.
Surrogacy
Surrogacy is a process whereby a woman agrees to carry and give birth to a child for a couple who will become the child’s parents after birth. The intended parents will need to apply for a Paternal Order after birth in order to become the child’s legal parents. Parental orders are only currently available to couples. However, the law is set to change, possibly by mid 2018, to enable single parents to apply.
Again, the process is complex, a helpful overview can be found through this link – https://www.gov.uk/legal-rights-when-using-surrogates-and-donors.
There isn’t a limit on the number of people that can share parental responsibility for a child. If it is not obtained through the above circumstances steps can be taken to acquire it by the following options:
Which option is best will depend on the individual circumstances of the family and full legal advice should be obtained to assist in making a fully informed decision.
Regardless of who the legal parents of a child are, the relationship which develops through the child demanding and the person providing for the child’s needs – initially at the most basic level of feeding, nurturing, comforting and loving, and later at the more sophisticated level of guiding, socialising, educating and protecting – is a very important one.
There are many same-sex couples who have children together intending to be a family but who do not go on to regularise the legal position. Previous cases before the Courts have therefore developed to recognise the concept of the ‘psychological parent’. The rationale for this focus on psychological parenting is that in a welfare-based jurisdiction, the family unit in which the child is raised is likely to be of more relevance to the child’s day-to-day wellbeing than biological or legal parentage. The focus of the Courts in England has often been on the child’s experience of being parented, rather than just strictly on the legal status of the parent or a biological tie
The law relating to parental rights of same-sex couples is complicated and it is not possible to cover every scenario within one blog post. The intention of this blog post is to provide a general overview and flag up some issues that same-sex couples who are looking to become parents, or indeed are parents, need to be aware of.
I am planning to write further blogs to cover some of the above-mentioned issues in more detail – if you are in a same-sex relationship and have questions about a family law issue, or would like to see a certain topic covered, please let me know.
I want to know as the birth mother if I get more rights now we have separated.
It will depend in part whether or not the partner you are separated from has legal parenthood and/parental responsibility for the child. If you both are recognised as the child’s legal parents and both have parental responsibility you are both on an equal footing. If the partner you are separated from is not recognised as the child’s legal parent and/or does not have parental responsibility whilst they might not initially have an equal say they maybe able to take steps so that they do, depending on the specific circumstances. Ultimately it is about the rights of the child, rather than the rights of the adults involved in their upbringing, and any decision making or determination of arrangements for the child are determined based on what is in the child’s best interests. You should contact our specialist team to book a consultation to obtain advice on your specific circumstances.
My case is of a lesbian couple. They are not married or in a civil partnership. The birth mother conceived via a donor from a clinic abroad (therefore not registered) and they would like a parenting agreement so they both have parental responsibility.
A lot more information about the specific circumstances would be needed in order to advise on the options in relation to obtaining parental responsibility. Please contact our specialist modern families team to arrange a consultation.
Hi, I am a gay female married with a child. My wife was the birth mother. we were married before IVF and I am named on the birth certificate. This morning I went to a pre medical assessment for my son and the nursing staff did not know if I had parental responsibility, and did not know if i could sign his consent form! I am quite sure I do but it has cast some doubt in my mind and I would like legal confirmation. I then worried about what would happen if my wife died, would I be seen as my sons parent with full parental responsibility.
A woman who is married to the birth mother at the time of conception is automatically the child’s other legal parent subject to the child being conceived after 6 April 2009. The non birth mother in these circumstances can be named on the child’s birth certificate and automatically has parental responsibility. This would however not apply if the non-birth mother did not consent to the conception. If you are in any doubt about your legal status as a parent we recommend that you contact one of our specialist team for an appointment so you can provide full details of your circumstances and obtain legal advice.
Hi, we have two children and who where conceived in an overseas licensed clinic(paperwork available) when registration of birth only the birth mother was allowed on certificates. We are now married and what our children to have both parents on birth certificates and second mother to have legal responsibility but not sure what route to go down?
In order to advise you about the options available we would need to know a lot more about your specific circumstances. We recommend that you contact one of our specialist team for an appointment so you can provide full details and obtain legal advice.
Hi I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant I conceived via AI me and my partner are not married or in a civil partnership can I still add her to the birth certificate? We see some websites say yes others say no. We confused
Congratulations on the pregnancy! A lot more information will be needed about your specific circumstances in order to advise. If you would like to arrange an initial consultation for advice please contact one of our specialist modern families team.
Hey, I am separated from my wife. We had a little girl together before we were married. She is three years old. And my wife has just stopped me seeing her. Do I have any rights at all?
Details of your specific circumstances would be needed in order to advise you as to what your options are. You should seek legal advice. You can contact our specialist Modern Families team to arrange an initial consultation by calling 01273 646900.
My girlfriend and me have had IVF abroad (Cyprus) using an anonymous donor, I am currently pregnant with twins. We are unmarried. How do we approach my girlfriend being the other parent on our babies birth certificate.
Congratulations on the pregnancy. Specific advice in relation to your circumstances is beyond the scope of a blog comment. You should contact our specialist modern families team https://www.familylawpartners.co.uk/what-we-do/modern-families/ to arrange a consultation to get advice.
Hi I was married before I fell pregnant with my daughter, my ex wife is on her birth certificate. Two questions, can I get her taken off, and where do I stand legally as imnwanting to move away, my daughter lives with me and ex has her 2 weekend a month. Thanks
You can only get someone removed from a child’s birth certificate in very rare circumstances, such as if there is an order from the court declaring that the person named is not actually the legal parent of the child. We would need to know a lot more information in order to advise you as to whether you have a case for removing your ex wife from being named on your child’s birth certificate.
With regards to moving away with your daughter the following factors would be taken into account to determine whether the move is in your child’s best interests:
The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (in light of their age and level of understanding); The child?s physical, emotional and educational needs; The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the court?s decision; The child?s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court?s decision; Any harm the child has suffered or maybe at risk of suffering; and Capability of the child?s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child?s needs.
The following guidance would also need to be looked at:
Is the motivation to relocate genuine?
Is the opposition to the relocation genuine?
Are the proposals for the relocation/opposition to relocate realistic, well researched and investigated? For instance what are the proposed arrangements for:
Accommodation? Schooling? Health care? Career/employment opportunities? Support network? Proposals to maintain relationship with other parent / family?
Financial viability? Essentially it is a delicate balancing exercise, weighing up the pros and cons for your child of staying or relocating.
You should contact a member of our specialist modern families team for advice by calling us on 01273 646900.
Hi I have read all of this so I think it is clear, but if you wouldn?t mind just clearing it up for me please. Me and my wife were married before we had AI thro home insemination, my wife is the birth mother, I am also on the birth certificate. Do I have the same rights as my wife? If anything were to happen would he stay with me or go to my wife?s mother? If that?s the case we would like advice on what avenue we will need to take to make sure he stays with me. Thank you so much
We would need to know more information in order to advise you and specific advice is beyond the scope of a blog post comment – we suggest you contact our specialist modern families team on 01273 646900 to arrange a consultation.
Hi, i am a married to a woman but we are no longer together, we living in separate houses etc. i am looking to have a baby of my own with a donor using Artificial Insemination at home with my present partner, would my wife be any part of the babies life? (have any rights over this baby)? or am i committing some sort of offence? Also can my present partner that will be there when the baby is being conceived and at the birth etc go on the birth certificate? thanks, Jes
Specific advice on your circumstances is beyond the scope of a blog post comment. Please contact our specialist modern families team to arrange a consultation by calling 01273 646900.
I am in the same situation as yourself- however I am wanting to do the IVF through a licensed clinic with my new partner. My wife and I are currently going through a divorce and have just had the date for the decree nisi through. we have been separated for two years now. any update on your situation would be useful!
I am separated from my ex wife. We have a 3? year old child who was conceived via home insemination after we were married. I am name on his birth certificate and have parental responsibility. We agreed and signed a contract between the three of us that he would not be involved in any way and that we would not pursue him for financial help at any stage but he would keep us updated with an address where he can be contacted if our child wished to know who he was when he is old enough to understand.
That contract has now ‘disappeared’ and my ex has been giving our son regular contact with the donor and introducing him as ‘daddy’ without my knowledge or input. She tells our son to call me by my real name and not the name we agreed during the planning and loving stage of our relationship. Where do I stand? Can I stop my son having contact with the donor?
Assuming at the time the child was conceived you and your ex wife were married and that the conception was by way of artificial insemination both you and your ex wife would be the child?s legal parents and have parental responsibility. Whilst the donor does not have legal recognition as a parent nor parental responsibility he may still have a role to play in your child?s life, the extent of that role though and his involvement very much depends on the individual facts of your case and whether such involvement is in your child?s best interests. The agreement entered into at the outset will not be legally binding, but is likely to have evidential weight if it clearly sets out intentions. It is likely to hold more weight if all 3 of you have legal advice before entering into it. As for next steps for you from here, as well as getting legal advice, seeking assistance from a family consultant or mediator in these circumstances can help to work out the family dynamic and a way forward that is best for your son. If you?d like to arrange a consultation with one of our experts please contact our specialist modern families team on 01273 646900.
Hi,
Myself and my ex have had two children via ivf through a clinic in UK, we are both biological parents to one of each children with the same anonymous donor. We have been separated 2 years and currently she wont sign the HFEA forms to revoke her legal parenthood for any future children born via IVF with the donor sperm. What can I do next as if I choose to have another child, I would like the same donor so my children are all biologically related but do not want my ex to be legal parent.
Your enquiry is in relation to a complex area of law and specific advice is beyond the scope of a blog post comment – please call our modern families team on 01273 646900 if you would like to arrange a consultation for advice.
We are a lesbian couple, not married. We used a friend as the donor and did not use a clinic. We are currently going through the adoption process. The donor has regular contact with our daughter and his parents are seen as grandparents and are child care once a week. We are happy with the arrangement. We are all in agreement that my partner should be the legal parent and the donor is happy to ‘lose’ his legal rights. We intend for him and his family to be part of our daughters life. The social worker is happy for us to go ahead with the adoption but wants to put in a contact order (i think that is what its called) this would be there to ensure the donor and his parents remain in contact with our daughter. We have know problem with this. The adoption team say this is the first time they have come across this and that they can’t find a president in law and so are not sure if the courts will except it. Can you tell me if you are aware of a case in law we could refer too. Many thanks
It sounds as though a Child Arrangements Order is what is being suggested, a court order to define the time your daughter spends with the donor and his parents to ensure the relationship between them and your daughter is maintained. The court’s ability to make such orders is governed by the Children Act 1989. The case law in relation to this area of law is very fact specific. Advice on your case is beyond the scope of a blog post comment, you should arrange a consultation with a lawyer. If you would like to arrange a consultation with one of the specialists in our Modern Families team please contact us on 01273 646900.
So my misses is pregnant we did it by home insemination but were not married , because baby is already conceived if we got married before baby was due would i have legal rights being her lesbian partner
Congratulations on the pregnancy! You would have had to of been married at the time the baby was conceived to be recognised as the legal parent to the child your partner is pregnant with, as you were not your partner and the male donor will be the child’s legal parents. If you are looking to raise and be involved in the child’s upbringing there are various options available to sort out the legal position. We would need to know a lot more information in order to advise. If you would like to arrange a consultation for legal advice from one of our specialist lawyers please call the modern families team on 01273 646900.
Hello. My wife and I were married before we had children. 2008 and 2013. We have one each through donor insemination at home.
The father is involved and is named on both of their birth certificates. No other form of PR has been sought.
We are now separated. Can you advise if we have PR over each other?s children if the father is named as their legal parent as well as the birth mother.
The law is different for a child conceived before 6.4.09 to the law applicable to a child conceived after that date. For a child conceived before 6.4.09 via artificial insemination at home the legal parents of a child are the birth mother and the sperm donor, they can both be named on the child’s birth certificate and if so they both have PR – the birth’s mother’s wife will not be a legal parent nor automatically have parental responsibility. For a child conceived after 6.4.09 via artificial insemination at home the legal parents of a child are the birth mother and the birth mother’s wife, they can both be named on the child’s birth certificate as they are the legal parents of the child and in any event will both have PR. There are various options available to obtain PR if it is not automatically in place. We would need to know a lot more information in order to advise you. Such advice is beyond the scope of a blog post comment. If you would like to arrange a consultation with one of our lawyers please contact our modern families team on 01273 646900.
me and my girlfriend want a baby together. but we don?t know who to contact for help etc.
There are various options for you and your girlfriend including conceiving through a licenced clinic, conceiving at home via a donor, surrogacy, adoption. You can enquire about adoption by contacting your local authority. You can contact fertility clinics to enquire about options available. If you are considering using a known sperm donor you should read this blog post: https://www.familylawpartners.co.uk/blog/known-sperm-donor/ and get legal advice. If surrogacy is something you are considering as a means to have a baby together the following organisations are a good first port of call: https://surrogacyuk.org/ and https://www.brilliantbeginnings.co.uk/. This is a complicated area of law and your decisions will have lifelong implications for you and your child, so you should seek specialist legal advice about your specific situation. If you would like to book a consultation with one of our lawyers please call our modern families team on 01273 646900.
Hi Gemma, thanks for writing such a useful article. I am trying to find out information for my particular situation which is proving difficult. I am English and my partner is Cambodian. We are intending to get married (in the British Embassy in Cambodia) before we start our family. As I am older it makes sense for me to have the first child, I will get pregnant here at a licensed clinic and then go back to England for the birth, where our marriage will be recognized and she will be the automatic second parent. What I am struggling to find out is if she has the second, how do I make sure that I am on the birth certificate? In Cambodia, our marriage is not recognized. Can we create a birth certificate at the embassy or do we have to have a Cambodian one? I have checked and it very clearly says ‘father’s name’ on the Cambodian BC. It is very important to me that we are protecting our children by ensuring we are both on their legal parents. We could go to England for the birth, but as she is not entitled to the NHS cover, it would cost us a small fortune!
Plan B is that I carry her child, but I think she would like to be pregnant so I’m trying to find out if there is a way to make that happen. Any advice would be amazingly helpful. Thanks so much.
Thank you for your feedback on the article. The law in relation to your situation is complex. We would need to know a lot more information in order to advise and the advice you need is beyond the scope of a blog post comment. We recommend you contact out modern families team on 01273 646900 to arrange a consultation with one of our specialist lawyers.
Hi, my husband and I have separated now going through a divorce. We had two little boys together.. my husband has now come out as gay and has a partner. They would like custody of my children as it?s impossible for them to have children together. What are my rights? I?ve always been their primary parent and they are more than happy with me.
When working out the parenting arrangements for the children the welfare of the children is the paramount consideration. The following should be taken into account: The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the light of his age and understanding); The child?s physical, emotional and educational needs; The likely effect on the child of any change in circumstances; The child?s age, sex, background and any other relevant characteristics; Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering; How capable each of the parents, and any other relevant person, is of meeting the child?s need. Mediation can be a really good forum for separated parents to work out parenting plan. Details of mediators local to you can be found online at https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/find-local-mediator/.
My wife and I were married before conceiving our first baby through AI in the UK (registered clinic) so I am therefore the legal parent of the child. I notified my place of work of the pregnancy back when we were 12 weeks pregnant but now with only a short time to go they have told me because I haven’t filled in a form, I am not entitled to any paid leave despite other legal parents (fathers) being entitled to paid leave. I wish to breastfeed and I feel this time is incredibly important in order to not only create a bond but to establish breastfeeding too. I feel I did everything asked by them and as my employer it is their responsibility to sort these forms with HR as the pregnancy policy doesn’t state anything about it and nobody told me either. Surely this isn’t right? What can I do to ensure I get paid leave? I can’t afford to take time off unpaid!
Thanks for your comment. I would recommend that you speak to an employment lawyer regarding your rights to parental leave, although you may also find the information in this link helpful:
Me and my wife had a friend as a donor.. we did not have intercourse to conceive the baby he donated in a cup and gave it to us. We was not married at the time I convinced but we was together for 9 years we got married after I conceived and she is on her birth certificate. Does this give her legal rights to our child ? And what rights does the donor have ? And we recently found out that he is illegal in the state that we live in. He doesn?t help with any financial things he doesn?t buy food take care of the child and doesn?t call his self the child?s parent my wife works to take care of us. The donor sees the child as we go over to visit and maybe once a month. I?m just trying to figure out if he has legal rights and if my wife has rights since she on the birth certificate
If you and your wife were not married or in a civil partnership at the time the baby was conceived then your wife is not under English law defined as a legal parent, you as the birth mother and the donor are the child’s legal parents. You should seek legal advice on the steps that can be taken with regards to formalising your wife’s role in the child’s life and what role the donor is to have. If you are based in England you can contact us to arrange an initial consultation for advice by calling 01273 646900.
Me and my ex partner had a private donor, we were not married but had also begun the process of ivf but managed to conceive before we needed ivf, when the child was 4months old we split up but I still continued to have contact with him for 3 months, we then got back together but sadly after 2 months the relationship ended and she stopped my contact, we went to court and it was agreed that I would still have contact and there was no need for a court order. Since then she has again stopped my contact and I am taking her back to court again for PR and contact.
I?m worried that I may not have any rights to contact as legally I know I don?t.
Assuming your ex-partner was the birth mother (i.e. gave birth to the child), that you and your ex-partner were not married at the time the child was conceived and that the child was not conceived at a licenced clinic then you would not be legally recognised as the child’s parent. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you would not be able to obtain an order through the court for the child to be able to have contact with you. You may in the first instance though have to apply to the court for permission to make the application. To get permission the following has to be taken into account: The nature of your proposed application, Your connection with the child, Whether there is a risk your proposed application could cause disruption to the child’s life to such an extent the child would be harmed by it. If permission is granted then when determining the terms of the contact the child’s welfare will be the paramount consideration. The following factors, known as the Welfare Checklist, set out the factors that must be taken into account when determining what is in a child?s best interests:
? The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the light of his age and understanding);
? The child?s physical, emotional and educational needs;
? The likely effect on the child of any change in circumstances;
? The child?s age, sex, background and any other relevant characteristics;
? Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
? How capable each of the parents, and any other relevant person, is of meeting the child?s needs.
Specific legal advice on your circumstances is beyond the scope of a blog post comment. You should seek specialist advice. If you would like to arrange a consultation with one of our experts please call 01273 646900.
My partner and I are getting married in October and in January 2021 we will start our home insemination journey with a known donor (friend). My future wife and I want to make sure we understand the law properly, if we are married at the time of conception, will my wife be the second legal parent of our child?
Thank you for your comment, Alison. On the basis of the following: 1. you and your partner are married at the time the baby is conceived, 2. the baby is conceived by way of artificial insemination and 3. You are the birth mother, then you both will be recognised as the child’s legal parents, should both be named on the birth certificate, and both have parent responsibility.
There can however be many complications and consequences of conceiving a baby by way of home insemination with a known donor. You may find our earlier blog post of interest. This is a complicated area of law and your decisions will have lifelong implications for you and the baby, and so we’d encourage you to seek specialist legal advice about your specific situation. You can arrange a consultation with one of our specialists by calling 01273 646900.
hi.
I’m currently in a situation where my ex partner of nearly 4years has just decided to stop letting me see out son.
He was conceived by AI from an anonymous donor and we were not married etc.. she was the birth mother, i was there for every appointment, anything she needed, the birth, i cut the cord. We agreed i would have to adopt him as there was no way around me having any rights otherwise… for some reason she didn’t go through with that as she said he has my surname and he will always be mine… but the woman told us when registering him that a surname is nothing and he could have anything as it..
So, yesterday she told me i can’t and won’t see him again and uses things against me from my past, such as my mental health history-which is stable I must add . Shes completely broke my heart. Is there anything I can do? Shes blocked and deleted me and my entire family from seeing my 18month son, hes my world. Please help.
Vicky. What a heart-breaking situation for you, your family and indeed the child. In the first instance a specialist family consultant and/or mediator might be able to help. You can find details of such specialists online at Sussex Family Solutions or via the Family Mediation Council website here. A lot more information about your situation would be needed in order to advise you of your options. In the event you are not recognised as the legal parent of the child you may still, with permission from the court, be able to apply for a child arrangement order to enable you to still be involved in the child’s life. To get permission the following has to be taken into account: The nature of your proposed application, Your connection with the child, Whether there is a risk your proposed application could cause disruption to the child’s life to such an extent he would by harmed by it. If permission is granted then when determining the terms of a Child Arrangement Order the child’s welfare will be the paramount consideration. The following factors, known as the Welfare Checklist, set out the factors that must be taken into account when determining what is in a child?s best interests:
? The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the light of his age and understanding);
? The child?s physical, emotional and educational needs;
? The likely effect on the child of any change in circumstances;
? The child?s age, sex, background and any other relevant characteristics;
? Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
? How capable each of the parents, and any other relevant person, is of meeting the child?s needs.
You should seek specialist legal advice – if you would like to arrange a consultation with one of the experts in our modern families team please call 01273 646900.
Hi, I was wondering if you could advise? I had a child while with my previous partner. She didn?t want to have children but stayed out of obligation. During the first 4 years of my child?s life, she came in and out but never really took any parental responsibility. In the last year and a half of our relationship she was in my child?s life and developed a strong attachment. Since we have separated (1.5 years) she has demanded to see the child. Where do I stand legally with this?
Even if your previous partner is not recognised as the child’s legal parent and does not have parental responsibility she may still be able to take legal action to see the child if maintaining the relationship is in the child’s best interests. The nature of what level of contact she is seeking, her connection with the child and whether there is a risk what she is seeking would cause disruption to the child’s life would have to be considered. The child’s welfare is paramount when working out what arrangements, if any, should be put in place for the child to maintain a relationship with a parent’s previous partner. The following factors, known as the Welfare Checklist, set out the factors that must be taken into account when determining what is in a child?s best interests:
? The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the light of his age and understanding);
? The child?s physical, emotional and educational needs;
? The likely effect on the child of any change in circumstances;
? The child?s age, sex, background and any other relevant characteristics;
? Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
? How capable each of the parents, and any other relevant person, is of meeting the child?s needs.
You should seek specialist legal advice in relation to how the law applies to your specific circumstances. If you would like to arrange a consultation with one of the experts in our modern families team please call 01273 646900.
If I wasn?t married to my partner at the time and she?s got pregnant through a non clinic sperm donor and I marry my partner before the baby?s due would I still have a right to go on the birth certificate?
If you were not married at the time the baby was conceived and the baby was not conceived in a UK licensed clinic, then you will not be recognised as the baby’s parent and therefore you cannot be named on the birth certificate. If you and your partner are intending to raise the baby together then you should seek specialist legal advice to understand the position around legal parenthood and parental responsibility and the options available. You can contact our Modern Families team on 01273 646900 to arrange a consultation.
Hi! I?m British and married my wife last year and I?m now almost 15 weeks pregnant with IVF treatment. We live in Peru as my wife is Peruvian and we received the treatment here using an unknown donor from a bank in the US. We will be travelling to the UK for the birth but I just wanted to check that it?s the same process for us for registering us both as legal parents despite where we received the treatment and that if she is named on the birth certificate that already automatically makes her the legal parent? The reason I ask is I?ve been following what?s happening in the US and they are advising couples to also legally adopt them as the birth certificate doesn?t mean they are legal parents. Appreciate your help!
Congratulations on the pregnancy. We would need to know a lot more about your situation but from a legal point of view there are a number of potential complex issues. Specific advice is beyond the scope of a blog post comment. You should arrange a consultation to meet with a lawyer. If you would like to arrange a consultation with one of our specialists please call 01273 646900.
My question is regarding terminology. Could you please clarify if the terminology will be a mother and a female second parent, and a father and a male second parent, in the case of adoption in the same way as there is for a new born child? If yes, how is it decided who the mother / father will be and who the female / male second parent will be?
If not, are both then called mothers / fathers?
Thank you for your comment. Same sex parents who adopt can refer to themselves however they chose. On the official documents e.g. the adoption certificate and birth certificate they are both referred to as parents the following link may help clarify: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/800942/Note_for_parents_Mar_2019__4_.pdf.
thank you for great article ,very helpful , I’ve got a question about child maintenance.
me and my ex were not married. when I met her she was already pregnant. during the relationship we’ve conceived second baby ( AI at home with a know donor) . now after break up she requires financial support for children from me. does he have the right to do so?
she also keep saying that if I will not fulfill her demands she will stop me from having a contact with children. do I have any rights in that case?
kind regards
A.
Thanks for your comments on the article. Financial support and contact are two separate issues, withholding contact should not used as bargaining chip when trying to agree financial arrangements. In so far as your contact with the children is concerned mediation and / or use of a family consultant may assist, alternatively arbitration or court would be options if an agreement can’t be reached. What the arrangements should be will be dependent upon what is in the children’s best interests. Whether you have an automatic right to apply for contact via arbitration or court or whether you would first require permission will depend upon the specific facts of your case, a lot more detail would be needed to advise. Whether you have a legal obligation to pay child maintenance or your ex has a right to make a claim against you for financial support would depend on numerous factors, again a lot more detail would be needed in order to advise. Specific advice is beyond the scope of a blog post moment, if you want specific advice tailor to your circumstances please call 01273 646900 to arrange an initial consultation with one of our specialist lawyers.
I wasn’t married to this woman, when I met her she was already pregnant. During our relationship we had 2nd baby via AI at home. She is biological mother to both of them. We are not together anymore. Now she keep asking for money doe’s she has right to do so?
Thank you for your query. We are unable to comment on specific circumstances in this forum, but generally speaking, if you were not married or in a civil partnership with the children’s mother at the time of the children’s birth and are not registered as a parent of either of them then you will have no statutory financial responsibility towards them. That said, if you have raised the children to consider you as a parent, then you may wish to consider whether it is in their best interests for you to provide for them financially in some way. You may want to consider attending mediation with your ex-partner to discuss these issues and seek to come to a resolution that will meet the children’s needs moving forward. You can find details of mediators local to you online at https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/.
My wife and i were not married when she gave birth to our son in June 2006. She had IUI at a London Clinic. Since then we are separated and just about to be divorced. i have PR for him with her agreement. My ex is greedy and always after more money and recently went to the CSA. Am I legally regarded as his parent as i am not on his birth cert . I want to pay but negotiating with my ex is \v difficult . I would like to confirm my legal position .
Thank you for your query. We are unable to comment on specific circumstances in this forum, but generally speaking, the CMS will only have jurisdiction to deal with child maintenance if you are legally regarded as the child’s parent, whether you are regarded as the child’s legal parent will depend on the circumstances around the conception of the child and if you are not a legal parent due to the circumstances around conception whether subsequently any court orders were granted making you a legal parent. You should seek legal advice to establish whether you are the child’s legal parent, as specific legal advice one your circumstances is beyond the scope of this blog post.. As you note that you do want to pay for the child, you may wish to consider attending mediation to reach an agreement with your ex-partner. You can find details of mediators local to you online at https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/.
Hello I’m messaging today because after 11 years my ex civil partner wants contact with my child. We both had home insemination I carried my child and I’m the only person on the birth certificate. Cut a long story short. The relationship broke down and I was allowing access but the ex partner picked partying far to much over my child and I put a stop to it. She’s aware of where my child and I are living and since being little she has walked passed her numerous of times in the street and never said a thing my child sees this person my ex as a stranger but now my child is coming up 12 the said person now Wants to get to know my child I’ve had no financial help or anything for that matter when it comes to my child I have provided everything where do I stand here can you please reach out to me.
Thank you for sharing your situation with us. Whether your child should have contact with you ex will be dependent upon whether it is in your child’s best interests. Whether your ex can apply to court for contact will generally speaking depend on whether they fall into any of these categories:
-a parent of the child;
-a person who has parental responsibility for the child;
-a person who is named, in a child arrangements order that is in force with respect to the child, as a person with whom the child is to live;
-a party to a marriage/civil partnership (whether or not subsisting) in relation to whom the child is a child of the family;
-a person with whom the child has lived for a period of at least three years (the 3 years need not be continuous but must not have begun more than five years before, or ended more than three months before, the making of the application);
If they don’t fall into any of the above then they may still get permission to apply, the court would consider the following when deciding whether to grant permission: the nature of the application, their connection with the child and whether there is a risk of the proposed application disrupting the life of the child to such an extent that it would cause them harm. If permission is granted then the following needs to be considered:
• The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the light of their age and understanding);
• The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs;
• The likely effect on the child of any change in circumstances;
• The child’s age, sex, background and any other relevant characteristics;
• Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
• How capable each of the parents, and any other relevant person, is of meeting the child’s need.
We hope this information helps. Specific advice on your circumstances is beyond the scope of a blog post comment. If you would like to arrange a consultation with one of our specialists please call us on 01273 646900.
I am a male, considering co-parenting with a married lesbian couple.
From what I’ve read, the birth mother and her spouse would automatically be able to be named on the birth certificate.
As a known donor and co-parent, is there a way I can be named on the birth certificate, if the birth mother agrees? Or does will it automatically be her spouse?
Only a child’s legal parents can be named on a child’s birth certificate. If the child is conceived by way of artificial insemination not at a UK licenced clinic and at the time of the conception the birth mother is married/in a civil partnership then the child’s legal parents will be the birth mother and the mother’s spouse/civil partner. In these circumstances if the donor is to be involved in the upbringing of the child then legal advice should be taken in relation to entering into a co parenting agreement and obtaining parental responsibility for the child.
Is it possible to remove the second parent from a birth certificate at a later date after birth and registration?So that only the biological mother remains and has PR?Marriage, having a baby and putting second parent on birth certificate were all done with coercion.
Thank you for your question, Tara. You can only get someone removed from a child’s birth certificate in very rare circumstances, such as if there is an order from the court declaring that the person named is not actually the legal parent of the child. We would need to know a lot more information in order to advise you as to whether you have a case for removing your ex from being named on your child’s birth certificate.
We would need to know more information in order to advise you and specific advice is beyond the scope of a blog post comment – we suggest you contact our specialist modern families team on 01273 646900 to arrange a consultation.
Hi there, hoping you could clarify something for me.
My partner and I are not married. We have a two year old boy that was conceived at a UK licenced clinic. My partner is the north mother and after our son was born we were both named on the birth certificate. I thought this meant I automatically had parental responsibility but now am worried I don’t after reading the article. Is there some other legal document I need? Do you recommend parent adopts as additional protection for my rights.
If your son was conceived after 6 April 2009 and at a UK licenced clinic, provided you signed the relevant forms at the clinic and you are also named on your son’s birth certificate, then you will have parental responsibility for him. If any of the following apply then you will need more specific advice which is beyond the scope of a blog post comment: your son was conceived before 6 April 2009, your son was not conceived at a UK licenced clinic, the relevant forms at the UK licenced clinic were not signed, you are not named on the birth certificate. Please call 01273 646900 to arrange an initial consultation with one of our specialist lawyers if you need advice.
Thank you for your comment, Maris. If your son was conceived after 6 April 2009 and at a UK licenced clinic, provided you signed the relevant forms at the clinic and you are also named on your son’s birth certificate, then you will have parental responsibility for him. If any of the following apply then you will need more specific advice which is beyond the scope of a blog post comment: your son was conceived before 6 April 2009, your son was not conceived at a UK licenced clinic, the relevant forms at the UK licenced clinic were not signed, you are not named on the birth certificate. Please call 01273 646900 to arrange an initial consultation with one of our specialist lawyers if you need further advice.